Well my friends….

I’m back.. and tired. I’m really really really tired. But I haven’t forgotten you all. You have all grown to a huge set of numbers, and it’s crazy.. but I know you guys get off to what I post, or even just read me.. which is nice.. I wish i could talk to you all or watch you enjoy yourselves or just hear how much you guys enjoy this… I am feeling the need for some physical affection…. and I want to give it too…. and collapse to sleep… but first, I should eat… as much as I’d love to eat anyone, man or woman….

Anyone have ideas for what this image will be about? I want to start writing my ideas again…. be creative.

I am finding that my real life, as it’s a creative job, is monumentally too large for me…. 

EDIT:

I realized, after a good sleep, a shower and some food, and a short good english class (not my first preference as a job) at some crazy hour of 530 - I decided that I should work on my own project with more gusto - instead of just wishing for it. So I did. It was fun, and I’m feeling much more happier with my life. And.. i feel that little by little it will get done, that nothing is immpossible, that I can do this, and that I shouldn’t fear of death and be paralyzed by the lack of time that I have on life… and yes, maybe oneday I will live a lusterous life of sex and lust with lots of people and a committed relationship of a hotwife, enjoying the emotion and gutwrenching feeling of multi-personal sex… but with time, small steps….

And..well who knows… I will stop dreaming so much, and work harder on what I want to fullfill…… and grow.. stop being so slack, and enjoy, it’s ok to enjoy… and it’s ok to work on things instead of just dreaming about them.

But it’s just managing the hours…talking of that, I’m late to pay bills….

Enjoy!

I woke up today…. not wanting to.

Then I went to work, was 20 minutes late due to terrible traffic, the bus was the wrong one, went down the wrong highway, had to immediately get off and fortunately only had to walk 2 blocks - then waited for my students another 40 minutes, sitting in the sun, attempting to save a worm struggling over the carpark cement as I sat in the 7 am morning sun.

Class was good, short and brief, but then had a hitched ride back into the city to pick up my bike. I then struggled as my body didn’t want to cooperate, the 5 hour sleep the night previous was not enough.

I worked, tried to work hard, having only done 50% of what I needed or wanted to do that day, went home, was somewhat raining, had to wrap up as my balance and health felt quite weak, and then.. got home to try be good…

Then my girl gets upset that I didn’t save sausages for the weekend - as I live in another house as hers, asked her over and over again the last time we distributed food from the trip out the last weekend - denying it and denying it - to then eat it for myself. I had spent a third of my paycheck that weekend - with not even enough to pay the phone bill, and now I have internet and water coming up..

I was tired, started to cook food, all was well, till I tried to tell her that out of my free will, thought, free of her ever asking anything, saved her some sausages. All was well. Theoretically….. Or so I thought. But she got upset, then i said I felt like she was complaining about food, then she went berserkers, calling me names, swearing and cursing in a chat. I tried to refrain from swearing back in defense, but tried to please my case. She eventually says that she tried to say it with an alternative, eat the other packet - but by then it was too late. I had already eaten the sausages. So I tried to tell her we were wasting time. She said she tried to tell me what she didn’t like and an alternative in a “loving way” but to me it just sounded like she was still arguing about sausages, as if she cared so much about some sausages that it seemed animalistic and selfish, nothing loving about that…

But she tried to love herself, and tried to find compromise with me. She wanted me to open two packets and save some of those sausages for her for the weekend, the only days she comes to my house in a routine.

For some stupid reason of frugality, never have two meat packets open at the same time, for by the time you finish one, the other will go off. And eating both in luxury is just not affordable.

So I thought priority was to eat what was opened.

So meh. I misunderstood, got called names, stated my understanding, offended and closed her off. She then doesn’t want the relationship.. and she’s tired of all the repeated mistakes - she can’t hack that I just do things and am things and have certain way of doing things that are outside her upbrining and habits and way of things. I am definately NOT her, I’m not even fully from her country!

So.. I drive her mad…..

And really I just want to go to bed, sleep, and chill with chill people. This image is awesome.


(Source: want1forher)

I want to clear out my queue… I haven’t been so diligent with my tumblrwebs.. maybe cause it makes me dangerously horny, thinking of finding ways to apply the fantasies, instead of enjoying what I have… and also.. it takes time away from work and finding a way to sustain myself…. meh.. but I do miss the regularity of ranting and posting to amazing thoughtful.. porn pics…

So here’s one fro you… a girl dominating the scene, one falling in lustful love, and the guy just going in and giving into it… they are getting into it, and.. are they regulars? Man it would be awesome to have a partnership or relationship with regulars like this.. just.. let go, close the eyes, and let the body go on fire…..

I am feeling somewhat lonely today. Maybe cause I woke up with a splitting headache - wanting to feel liquids……… from everywhere… Dunno…A good guy friend of mine is leaving the country and my house indefinitely. Maybe it’s that that has my soul down a bit.. I did think of my girl lastnight though - she told me something that turned her on, a girl. Girls sometimes turns her on, when she seems them in music videos or movies - it gets her.. going! I love knowing that, and it was awesome to know that something else got her turned on. I wanted to treat her to a woman, to eat her, to lap her up, to finger her as her delicate tongue engulfed her. Yeah, and then my time with myself wanted me to sit back, watch as they had each other in heated romance - tongue on tongue, tongue on lips, tongue and fingers everywhere, female moans and breasts galore. But.. then I wanted to take part and enjoy the other girl too. Silly imagination. Man, I dream a lot. But never live. I wonder….. live?

I am feeling somewhat lonely today. Maybe cause I woke up with a splitting headache - wanting to feel liquids……… from everywhere…

Dunno…

A good guy friend of mine is leaving the country and my house indefinitely. Maybe it’s that that has my soul down a bit..

I did think of my girl lastnight though - she told me something that turned her on, a girl. Girls sometimes turns her on, when she seems them in music videos or movies - it gets her.. going! I love knowing that, and it was awesome to know that something else got her turned on. I wanted to treat her to a woman, to eat her, to lap her up, to finger her as her delicate tongue engulfed her.

Yeah, and then my time with myself wanted me to sit back, watch as they had each other in heated romance - tongue on tongue, tongue on lips, tongue and fingers everywhere, female moans and breasts galore. But.. then I wanted to take part and enjoy the other girl too.

Silly imagination.

Man, I dream a lot. But never live.

I wonder….. live?

(Source: sussanna356)

She reminds me.. well.. the way she is touching herself is very similar to how my girl does it.. more often than not she may do it while I’m having her, getting tense. She will even try to finish off if I can’t keep up the stamina to make her go over the edge. It’s quite rough the way she touches me, and when she’s warmed up it’s fun to treat her like so.

But this gif… on top of the way that girl is touching herself… it inspires another side of my mind. She’s watching her man, with another girl, a third person.

I dunno about you or me, but there seems to be a cuckold or cuqueen side that seems to draw me. I hate the idea of unfaithfulness - but I love the idea of indulging in more than one person. The world is so rich and full of so many bodies to just stick to one!

But then there is all the psychological nature of jealousy, possesion and fear.

So here I am, in a dilema, living in a world of people full of fear - including myself - one of scarcity where love and enjoyment is a rare commodity - and fought over.

And here I am loving the idea of my girl enjoying another man but being with me, mine, yet fully enjoyed by other men. Here I am wanting to know when she goes on dates, telling me details of how she is with that strange new man, and what she does with him, how he fucks, how he treats her, how he tastes to her. I want to know her adventures, but I want her to come home to bed, be by my side, and ultimately always have me as men enter and leave her life. I want that. Then on the other side, I want her to enjoy the fact that that other women or men are attracted to me and want to enjoy me. I want her to get a hot addictive attraction to the idea that another woman might enjoy me, take me, and have me. That another man might taste me, or I taste him. I would love the concept that she would love the idea that me being with someone does not devalue her at all, but want me to stay with her more.

At the end of the day, of trying, tasting and being with other people, we return to each others arms and realize we belong to each other and only that.

But the world is ours, whoever we want, and they can have us. I don’t want a scarce well, but to share it’s waters and promote… peace and confidence… confiding that nothing will make us drift apart - only enrich our relationship with each other..

And it’s just an ideal……… and I have no idea how to work towards something like that. Where on earth do you ever get a woman of a cuqueen concepts and mentality? Who would be pre-desposed to enjoy sharing a body they hold dearly? How does one not feel afraid, but extreme pleasure, gratitude and excitement at the idea of this? Is it just me that somehow has a warped enough brain to enjoy my girl having been fucked by some other guy? Taking thrill in the insecure excitement that she might enjoy another man, and…MAYBE not like me cause of it? Want me? But… is it more.. the idea that EVEN when she is fucked clean of a full orgasm due to another man then returning to bed with me.. that gets me? What is it with me!?

And more so, why would it be so harmful if she went with another man now without the relationship at that level yet? Does that make me hypocrite?

Or am I desiring a bond that is stronger than sex with someone with a sense of adventure that sex is not what holds us together, but is something we live, experience and be a part of first person, and thirdperson kind of sense??

Am I fucking over my future relationships? Am I not possessive? What kind of love is this?!

Dunno.. but I like the concept of giving and getting that kind of trust, hope and freedom to enjoy the truth that people are mixed, varied, and beautiful all inbetween, and each fuck or lay different and beautiful in it’s own way, some kind of new energy to keep one going.

I am too ideal for my own good……..

Fantasy of the night

Again.. I went to bed, feeling frisky, not being able to sleep, so wanting to feel myself to peak, breathe and release, sleeping in bliss.. playing another story in my mind.. my girl.. a friend of ours, and going at something we once did drunkenly - this time with him behind, treating her, a new and strange cock inside of her - used to me, being filled by someone.. yes, smaller than me, but her lips were wrapped around me, moist and wet - her gentle tongue and teeth toying with me like I love her so, feeling the cavern of her mouth around me, her delicate light head bobbing on me with her beautiful hair through my fingers. I could feel her moan over my cock, the air blowing through her nose as she sucked more and more out of me, precum and all - her saliva dripping over my skin. I could tell she was turned on, and more so with my friend plesuring her doggystyle, kinda, behind her. This time around I wanted this virtual mental story with a treat for him and her, do something different, she having another man this time, but at the same time enjoy watching her turn on as she tastes me turn on to her, praising her. I would tell her how beautiful and how hot she is, how much of a good girl she is, how much she belongs to me and how much I adore her, want her, enjoy her. I will will tell her to enjoy him, to take him, own him. I will tell her to turn on to me, my flavor for him, get wet for him. I will tell her to suck me.

And as we both enjoyed the foreign experience of her behind me pushing her into my cock, she moaning, her voice making mine vibrate in ecstasy, I would then tell her they are going to make me cum! She loves that and cums on his rod just before I pull from her mouth and cum out my white thick fluid over my stomach and into her hair. She looks at me and smiles big and large, lips moist, running her fingers through my spunk into my skin as she is pounded even harder. He clasps my hands with my cum between them as she’s being fucked, smiling, then licking up what’s left with her tongue.

The orgasm was so hard, from her mouth, the idea of her owning another man before me and pleasuring me in thanks, and doing it before me - I didn’t care that I finished last, and decided to sleep holding her as he continues to pound her - she beginning to moan his name, and for some reason it would spike my heart to know that my girl was also another mans pleasure - and that to me was my own. I fell asleep with the image carrying on in my mind as she cums hard over again on his smaller more comfortable cock as she collapses over my exhausted and spent body. I wouldn’t know how far they would go, if she’d be full of him, or if she will get emotionally more attached to another man, or if she’d own him more while I slept - but I’d be happy to know that her head will sleep on my chest tonight, no matter what, still mine… and always.

That was my thought…… and yes, it felt GREAT.

I think I must be thinking up these fantasies to deal with the realities of my past. I doubt they will be futures, but they are inspired of past events.. and I think those past events were.. somehow conflicting in experience - so re-imagining them as something new with the morals and romance, the heat and the fuck.. yeah.. having it clearer in my head of how it really was/could be… really is quite a pleasure in itself.

I wonder………. I love my girl.

My fantasy of the night….. my girl sitting on me as we both share our friends cock in our mouths, to the point that he cums, she moaning hard on my stiff shaft inside of her, bringing her to peak long and hard shortly after sharing a scummed kiss between our mouths and our friends cock - to then later fully pump my load into her, creaming over me as she doesn’t stop moving on top of me - our friend both holding our heads, and staring at me and my girls eyes fixed the whole time, cock between our mouths.

Yes… that was my very hot and steamy imagination and fantasy of lastnight. It was great, and even writing it now kinda gets me turned on.

I would like to debrief whatever that thought was, but…. it was happy and confident, and it didn’t get the other person “between” us emotionally or intimately, but he would have had a great time, but us both would have been so turned on inside and outside of ourselves - me and her.. it was really hot.. and imagining her filled with me sitting on me, moving as we had a cock between us up top.. sharing the spoils and pleasuring it together, a mutual fun and sharing.. me and her, the perfect tag team..

It was hot.. and I thought I’d share.

Yeah.. I’ve been touching myself nearly everynight… and everytime it’s perverse yet with her… always…….

I've never stroked another cock but have thought about it. Ever circle jerk? How'd you get into the group stuff? What have you done with other guys? Any pics of your cock here? So jealous of thick cocks!!

I have.. not circle jerked. I have not jerked many a man, but it’s.. cool in a way. I like the hard, heavy feel of it, the softness of the skin, the heat.. it’s great. I only done it a literal handful of times….

So.. what have I done? Slept with a tranny once; blew off a guy in a foursome with my then girl and another lady (then accidentally bit him) high on E once; I’ve kissed a gay couple, first interaction with men.. I was very drunk. Kissed a friend of mine many a time, and.. did things with him and my girl once, very drunk also. Mixed memories that… Also, kissed some random guys here and there in Mexico. I also.. had a rabbi, did a number of full on things with him till I nearly got mugged (not related, just the area) and decided that wasn’t for me.. it felt too.. weird. Oh, and I blew a guy off the internet once. Oh, wait, my very first first experience was with a sugar daddy pleasuring me… my first sexual experience with anyone actually. Kinda.. set the tone of many things really.. awkward.

All in all, my experiences are few and far inbetween, but I’m not closed to it.

I do not have any pictures of me on any of my blogs. Never thought to do it… hmm…..

Thanks for the message!

» Asked by Anonymous

Group sex rules!

I like your description of that group sex shot - believe me, if i could find one in the DC area, I would join in a heartbeat - I’m just a normal guy who loves sex, way, way too much, lol - actually, check on yahoo groups - there is a gangbang group, and one member throws parties like the one pictured, but with less attractive people (but really, get the clothes off any woman, and she instantly becomes beautiful to me!)

-Indeed! Thanks for the tips! Right now I’m in South America somewhere, I have no idea what the culture for that sort of thing is. I always looked up north and thought.. you guys are mad! But awesome! So open and really enjoying things out there, and with some kind of conscious too, which is nice. Anyway, I got your post quite a while back, but thank for the info. Convo with the followers is really nice.